A Delayed Journey, A Greater Understanding

Recently, I had the opportunity to travel to Grand Rapids, Michigan, with the Durham Chamber for its annual Inter-City Visit. It was my first time visiting Grand Rapids, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. The trip there was relatively smooth, but the journey home was another story!

I was scheduled to arrive back in Durham around 6:30 p.m. after a quick layover in Charlotte. I was looking forward to seeing my son and sleeping in my own bed. Those who know me know that while I enjoy a good trip, I am always happy to get back home.

As we prepared to board our flight, I noticed the captain speaking with the gate agent. I immediately had a feeling we might be there a while. Sure enough, mechanical issues led to one delay, then another, and another. Eventually, I realized I would miss my connecting flight. After changing my reservation, I found myself facing more delays, limited information, and increasing frustration.

I was tired. I wanted to be home. I wanted to see my son. And despite praying for peace, I could feel myself becoming more and more agitated. I tried to focus on other things, but not knowing when I would leave or when I would get home made it difficult to settle my mind. I eventually arrived in Durham around 10:30 p.m., nearly four hours later than expected. I missed seeing my son before he headed to a football game, but at least I made it home to my own bed.

The next morning, I was talking with my sister about how difficult it had been for me to remain calm. I shared that I had prayed and prayed for peace, yet I struggled to find it in the middle of all that uncertainty.

Then my sister said something that shifted my perspective completely.

“Tasha, isn't that the same thing your families experience all the time?”

She was absolutely right.

Nearly every week, I speak with families who are frustrated, exhausted, and wondering when their circumstances will change. When will I move out, Miss Tasha? Why was I denied that apartment? How much longer will this take? Sometimes, their frustration shows in their words. Other times, it shows in the way they barely make eye contact or struggle to find the energy to keep going.

For years, when families come into my office overwhelmed by the uncertainty of their situation, I remind them of what they experienced before entering FMF, and what it was like for them when they were finally assigned a room. Then we go through what’s happened since they’ve been in shelter and how much closer they are to their home. I remind them that they are closer than the day they arrived to the shelter.

That morning, I realized I needed to take my own advice.

I had experienced just a few hours of uncertainty, delays, and not knowing what would happen next. Yet I struggled to remain patient and find peace. Our families experience that uncertainty over and over again, often while carrying far heavier burdens than a delayed flight. They are navigating housing applications, financial barriers, rejection, and the emotional weight of not knowing when they will finally have a place to call home.

That realization gave me an even deeper appreciation for the patience, perseverance, and courage our families demonstrate every day.

I am also reminded of how fortunate we are to be part of a community that continues to show up for them. Housing does not always happen as quickly as we would like. There are delays, disappointments, and moments when the path forward feels anything but clear. But in my time at Families Moving Forward, I have seen what is possible when families continue working their housing plans and have the support of people who believe in them. While not every family secures housing on their first attempt, the overwhelming majority of families who actively work their plans with our support have found their way into permanent housing.

That does not happen by accident. It happens because of you—our partners, supporters, volunteers, and the City of Durham, Durham County, and others who remain committed to this work. Together, we help families navigate the delays, overcome barriers, and keep moving forward, even when the journey is longer than anyone hoped.

I share this story not because I handled every moment perfectly. I didn't. I share it because sometimes, even in the most frustrating moments, there is an opportunity to learn something about ourselves and deepen our understanding of others.

And yes, if you walk away from this article thinking I need to work on my patience, you would be right! I am still working on it.

Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable, for being in this fight with us, and for continuing to make a way for families who are simply trying to find their way home. The journey may not always go according to plan, and there may be delays along the way, but together, we can keep moving forward.

Thank you for helping our families find their way home.